KOMMANDER KVATCH, SIR. Kommander American reporting in, Sir.
It is my sad duty to report to you, Sir, that we have troops gone missing in the line of duty. One is definitely now a POW. The troop transport had not even left the deployment area when a small human was observed exiting the Dollar Store, espied the trooper, seized him from the brick ledge and then stripped away the troopers sign as he pursued his mommy. The trooper's ultimate fate is unknown. However, two adults were observed pausing to look at the trooper before entering the Dollar Store, so although his mission was untimely ended, we may say that he did his duty and accomplished his mission.
Furthermore, Sir, I must report that six troopers deployed at Krogers, Blockbuster, and the Nail Salon have also gone MIA. It is possible that they are also POWs. However, Sir, I commend these men for performing their duty with bravery and fortitude. Other courageous men are volunteering to replace them on the mission. Due to the numbers of small children who accompany their parents to these locations, the mission is perilous, but our stalwart kommandoes will not be deterred.
Respectfully, Kommander American